Post by spencer101f on Jul 10, 2012 22:34:01 GMT -5
Spencer walks onto the stage, takes a deep breath, and begins to talk. The audience is quiet.
Spencer: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Uniworks Upfront Presentation. We have a great upfront for you tonight with guest stars, guest performances, and a lot of humor for you tonight. Plus, we have a great line up of shows for this evening. I’ll be your host and emcee. Did I mention I’m the President of this fine company? Well, I am. Now, then, moving on. I’d like to present my first guest tonight who will be introducing the Monday night line-up. Please welcome Lee Pace.
Lee Pace walks onto the stage, smiling. He jumps high and lands down really low.
Pace: Hmm, not sure why I jumped.
The audience chuckles.
Pace: Now, let’s see. I am here to present the line-up for Monday nights, including all midseason shows as well. First up, on Mondays, we have a crazy night of comedies for you, including: Cubicles, Bollywood/Hollywood, Spare Me, and Costumes ‘R Us. And then, of course, at 10:00, we have a drama-comedy-music biopic of sorts, Pirate Radio. Basically, it’s whatever the #%!@ you want to call it.
The audience chuckles.
Pace: Hmm, and now for the midseason shows. During the midseason, when these shows finish their first seasons…hopefully, the network will be showing a currently untitled Laser Tag Show, Happy Hands School, Be My Friend, and My Big Fat Greek Life for half-hour sitcoms, followed by a mystery/noir drama, Agatha, at 10 PM. Thank you guys very much, and enjoy your evening.
Pace walks off the stage as a group of dancers walk on. Spencer introduces the performers for the evening.
Spencer: Ladies and germs, I’m proud to announce the first performance of the night from the incredibly talented dance crew, The Jabbawockeez. Let’s give it up!
The Jabbawockeez Performance
Spencer: Well, wasn’t that great, folks? Now, before we get to our Tuesday lineup, we have a couple more performers for you. Next up is none other than the very famous country western band, Rascal Flatts, with one of their newest hits, “Banjo.” Let’s give them a huge round of applause!
Rascal Flatts “Banjo”
Spencer: Now, taking us into break is the wonderful comedic styling of Mr. Josh Blue. Put those hands together!
Josh Blue Stand-Up
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Spencer: And we’re back. I just wanted to let you guys know that I used to be indecisive, but now I’m just not sure.
The audience laughs.
Spencer: Anyway, before we get to our next upfront presentations, we have some more performances for you. Up next, put your hands together for that crazy little Hawaiian, Jack Johnson, performing his classic hit, “Banana Pancakes.” Take it away, Jack!
Jack Johnson “Banana Pancakes”
Spencer: Wow, that was fantastic. Now, put your hands together for the amazing Muppets with their new rendition of their classic piece, “The Rainbow Connection!”
The Muppets “The Rainbow Connection”
Spencer: Wow, wow, wow. Now, before I bring out a special guest to introduce Tuesday’s lineup, I have one more act coming out to perform. Please give a warm welcome to Yo Yo Ma!
Yo Yo Ma Performance
Spencer: Isn’t that just lovely? Now, back to what you are all waiting for…Tuesday’s lineup! Here to introduce our lineup and our midseason lineup for Tuesday is none other than funny man Zach Galifianakis!
Galifianakis sneaks onto the stage and just stares at the audience. They laugh uproariously.
Galifianakis: Now, before we get to these here presentations of tv shows or whatever they are called, I am going to do a little stand up routine for you: His Routine
Galifianakis: Okay, okay. Now it’s time for the real stuff! The Tuesday lineup. Tuesday nights will consist of light reading, ice cream, and maybe some play late at night.
The audience laughs.
Galifianakis: Oh, you mean the tv shows? Eih. Okay. What do we have here? Start off with some comedies, Chalk, Price of Admission, No Parking Please, The Perks of Being a Serial Killer, and an hour long drama, Side Show. Sounds creepy. Anyway, sounds like it will be a good night, if you know what I mean.
He winks.
Galifianakis: Okay, here we are with the midseason lineup for Tuesdays: Huge, The Playboy Club, and Saw. Yikes! Now, my job is done. You’ve all been great. Thanks so much!
They applaud as Spencer approaches the stage.
Spencer: Before we get to our next lineup, we are going to have a lightning round of performers for you, coming from, in this order: Lin-Manuel Miranda from In the Heights, Katie Thompson, Butterscotch, Tapes ‘n’ Tapes, the Cast of The Book of Mormon, Larry the Cable Guy, Philip Glass, Flight of the Conchords, The Silhouettes, The Fiddleheads, Matthew Morrison, The Spice Girls Tribute Band, a yo-yo artist, and The Kinsey Sicks. Please applaud after each performance. Here we go!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xqFyHgu9U4]Lin-Manuel Miranda Poem
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u5HI38uxBg]Katie Thompson “I’m Not Pregnant…”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5xmb7Az8nM]Butterscotch Beatbox
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oW4TJhmubQ4]Tapes ‘n’ Tapes Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tooa7eBhY58]The Book of Mormon “Hello”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXkSEcCwU8A]Larry the Cable Guy “Christmas Songs”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1C3FtvOZ4g]Philip Glass Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGOohBytKTU]Flight of the Conchords “Business Time”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1rx0eN29gs]The Silhouettes Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1T5Ehm8FZ8]The Fiddleheads Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jn4jeeQzZh8]Matthew Morrison “Summer Rain”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVq-vXZYpgs]The Spice Girls Tribute Band Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyCf4b5cXLc]Cool Yo-Yo Artist
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XB5QRYgjIAU]The Kinsey Sicks Performance
Spencer walks back onto the stage.
Spencer: Yahoo! Yowza! Weren’t they all incredible?
The audience hoots, hollers, and applauds boisterously.
Spencer: Okay, okay. Now, here to present the Wednesday lineup and midseason and to introduce our musical guest before the break, it’s Justin Timberlake!
Justin Timberlake walks onto the stage and smiles.
Timberlake: So, I wonder why they didn’t ask me to be a musical guest on tonight’s performance? I guess my career has gone…bye bye bye.
The audience laughs as he does the old dance.
Timberlake: No, but seriously, folks, I’m honored just to be here to present the Wednesday night lineup, one of my favorite lineups if I do say so myself. I can’t wait for these shows. We have American Dreamz, Bandstand, and Wonderfalls with the midseason shows being Hellcats, Backdraft, and Soaring Dreams. THIS WILL BE AWESOME. And now, here to take us into the break is…THE BLUE MAN GROUP! Give it up, folks!
Timberlake exits and The Blue Man Group enters.
Blue Man Group Performance
COMMERICAL BREAK
Spencer: Alright, ladies and gentlemen. We’re back. And boy, do I have some news for you. Here it is: If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
The audience laughs outrageously as Spencer continues the speech.
Spencer: We’ve all had a great night so far, I think, and we have a lot of great talent left, but we only have four nights left, so without further ado, let’s bring out our next round of lightning acts, in this order: Kermit & Bret McKenzie of Flight of the Conchords, Stomp (Brooms), She & Him, the Cast from Once, Cas Haley, Narcissister, Idina Menzel, Bo Burnham, The Living Cartoon, Glee Live, Summerwind Skippers, Melissa Villasenor, India.Arie, and Jason Robert Brown & Anika Noni Rose. Put your hands together, ladies and gents!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDnTo2S2BrA]Kermit & Bret McKenzie Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ7aYQtIldg]Stomp -- Brooms
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU781p5FPEg]She & Him “Sweet Darlin’”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ehVXwFMQqs]Once “Gold”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcmPgmRArTs]Cas Haley Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSfFCNEteyk]Narcissister Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MslDnwerQRA]Idina Menzel “Defying Gravity”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=unAjsH49I5g]Bo Burnham “I’m Bo Yo”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB5Yx0mfH4g]The Living Cartoon Quick Change Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bn8moZ7N-vo]Glee Live “Loser Like Me”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLRoFI7lO-0&feature=fvwrel]Summerwind Skippers Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GffCjjulVk&feature=related]Melissa Villasenor Stand-Up/Impressions Routine
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvUt2fHU8EY]India.Arie “Video”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmXiDO76bAA]Jason Robert Brown & Anika Noni Rose “Brand New You”
Spencer: Wowza! Now, here to present our Thursday lineup and introduce our musical guest before break, it’s Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon.
They walk onto the stage as Spencer exits.
Mariah: Hello, all.
Nick: Yes, hello.
Mariah: Nick, you already host a show. You should be better at this.
Nick: Well, excuse me, but I’m distracted by a lovely young lady.
Mariah: Is Demi Lovato here?
Nick: No.
The audience laughs.
Mariah: Okay, well I’ll present Thursday’s lineup and Nick here will present the midseason lineup and the musical guest. Here we go. Thursdays will include: Onstage, Cyberbullies, and The Vampire Chronicles.
Nick: Beautiful. Midseason will feature: The Sing-Off, Pretty/Handsome, and The Prestige. And taking us into the break is our next musical guest, the internet sensation, ROB PARAVONIAN!
They leave as he enters.
Rob Paravonian “Pachelbal Rant”
COMMERCIAL BREAK
The show returns with Dita Von Teese on stage doing a burlesque performance.
Dita Von Teese Burlesque Routine
She exits the stage as Spencer re-emerges.
Spencer: Well, whew, folks. That was sure one hot performance, wasn’t it? Now, before we get into our Friday and Saturday lineups, we have a few more performances from you, in this order: Up & Over It, Kevin Johnson, Bunraku Bay Puppet Troupe, Bond, and CJ Jones. Enjoy!
Up & Over It Performance
Kevin Johnson Performance
Bunraku Bay Puppet Troupe Performance
Bond “Victory”
CJ Jones Deaf Performance
Spencer: That was great. Now, let me introduce you to the hostess with the mostest, Kristin Chenoweth.
She enters as Spencer exits and is very bubbly.
Chenoweth: Hi, everyone. I’m a GCB, not a pushing daisy. Sorry I’m so popular.
The audience is in stitches.
Chenoweth: Enough of that. So, anyway, I am here to introduce to you the Friday night Uniworks lineup and midseason. WOOHOO! So, Friday nights has Tap Dancer, The Bromance, Bro Code/Man Law, and N’awlins with Midseason replacements as Funniest Mom in America, The Sing-Off Results Show, School House Rock Rocks!, and Tommy Lee Goes to College. Sounds great! And now, taking us into the break is our next guest, the tremendous Jeff Dunham and his good old stand-up comedy. And following that is the Golden Dragon Acrobats!
Jeff Dunham “Blue Prius”
Golden Dragon Acrobats Performance
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Spencer: And we’re back. We have Saturday & Sunday left, and that’s it. We’re rounding the bend, just around the riverbend. Eh? Eh? Okay, bad joke. Anyway, here is one of my favorite comedians and one of my really good friends now, Paul Rudd!
Spencer and Rudd shake hands as Rudd prepares for his comedy routine.
Paul Rudd Routine
Spencer comes back out and shakes Rudd’s hand again. They jokingly hold hands and exit the stage together as the next presenter comes out, NeNe Leakes.
Leakes: Ya’ll shut up.
She refers to the laughter and applause. She’s joking.
Leakes: No, seriously. I’m here to present the upfront for Saturdays, and I got kind of jipped, so I’m going to just talk for as long as like about whatever I like. Haha, no, but seriously, here’s the Saturday lineup: Uniworks’ Movie of the Week at 8 PM followed by Tap Dancer Results, or Funniest Mom in America Results during Midseason, with Cinemaniacs and Indy Mogul at 10:30. It looks like both are 15 minute minute shows that are going to combine to become one show. Welp, now let me introduce the next guest to present the Sunday lineup, Nick Lachey.
She leaves as Lachey enters. The audience is cheering.
Lachey: I’m here to present the Sunday lineup for both the fall and midseason, but before I do that, I need to introduce our next performer. The always astounding, ever-impressive TERRY FATOR.
Terry Fator “At Last”
Lachey: Wasn’t that just great, folks? Now, here’s our Sunday lineup: The Secret Lives of Dogs, Balls to the Wall, The Craigslist Diaries, Cherries in the Snow, and Marquee. And for midseason: Untitled Wallflower Series, Untitled Tattoo Shop Show, The Astounding Spider-Man, The Cape, and Columbine. We’ll be back to recap the shows in a little while, but taking us to the break is Fan Yang of The Gazillion Bubble Show. Take it away, Fan!
Fan Yang Bubble Clip
COMMERICAL BREAK
Spencer: And we’re back. Let’s recap our shows with our midseasons for the 2012-2013 year:
Monday
8:00 Cubicles (Midseason: Untitled Laser Tag Show)
8:30 Bollywood/Hollywood (Midseason: Happy Hands School)
9:00 Spare Me (Midseason: Be My Friend)
9:30 Costumes ‘R Us (Midseason: My Big Fat Greek Life)
10:00 Pirate Radio (Midseason: Agatha)
Tuesday
8:00 Chalk (Midseason: Huge)
8:30 Price of Admission (Midseason: Huge con’t.)
9:00 No Parking, Please (Midseason: The Playboy Club)
9:30 The Perks of Being a Serial Killer (Midseason: The Playboy Club con’t.)
10:00 Side Show (Midseason: Saw)
Wednesday
8:00 American Dreamz (Midseason: Hellcats)
9:00 Bandstand (Midseason: Backdraft)
10:00 Wonderfalls (Midseason: Soaring Dreams)
Thursday
8:00 Onstage (Midseason: The Sing-Off)
9:00 Cyberbullies (Midseason: Pretty/Handsome)
10:00 The Vampire Chronicles (Midseason: The Prestige)
Friday
8:00 Tap Dancer Competition (Midseason: Funniest Mom in America)
9:00 The Bromance (Midseason: The Sing-Off Results)
9:30 Bro Code/Man Law (Midseason: School House Rock Rocks!)
10:00 N’awlins (Midseason: Tommy Lee Goes to College—2 episodes)
Saturday
8:00 Uniworks’ Movie of the Week
10:00 Tap Dancer Results (Midseason: Funniest Mom in America Results)
10:30 Cinemaniacs/Indy Mogul
Sunday
7:00 The Secret Lives of Dogs (Midseason: Untitled Wallflower Adaptation Series)
7:30 Balls to the Wall (Midseason: Untitled Tattoo Shop Show)
8:00 The Craigslist Diaries (Midseason: The Astounding Spider-Man)
9:00 Cherries in the Snow (Midseason: The Cape)
10:00 Marquee (Midseason: Columbine)
Spencer: And now, taking us to the credits is an insane performance from an awesome magic comedy duo, Penn & Teller!
Penn & Teller “Nail Gun” Routine
Spencer: Well, that’s all the time we have for. Thanks to all the performers, presenters, and everyone watching. We couldn’t do it without you!
On tap for the future:
Untitled Penn & Teller Reality Magic Show
Untitled Terry Fator Reality Series
Pushing Daisies
Tommy Lee Goes to College
Eastwick
Greg the Bunny
The Critic
Pan Am
Gravity
Untitled Cake Decorating Reality Competition
Untitled Movie Makeup Competition
Untitled Cryptozoology Reality Series and More
The Derby
Untitled Side Show Musical
Weather Girl
Bollywood Hero: The Series
Contest Searchlight
Untitled Cake Shop Show
Proposed for This Year/Midseason But Switched:
Seurat
The Princess Chronicles
Leisl in the War
CREDITS ROLL.
Spencer: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Uniworks Upfront Presentation. We have a great upfront for you tonight with guest stars, guest performances, and a lot of humor for you tonight. Plus, we have a great line up of shows for this evening. I’ll be your host and emcee. Did I mention I’m the President of this fine company? Well, I am. Now, then, moving on. I’d like to present my first guest tonight who will be introducing the Monday night line-up. Please welcome Lee Pace.
Lee Pace walks onto the stage, smiling. He jumps high and lands down really low.
Pace: Hmm, not sure why I jumped.
The audience chuckles.
Pace: Now, let’s see. I am here to present the line-up for Monday nights, including all midseason shows as well. First up, on Mondays, we have a crazy night of comedies for you, including: Cubicles, Bollywood/Hollywood, Spare Me, and Costumes ‘R Us. And then, of course, at 10:00, we have a drama-comedy-music biopic of sorts, Pirate Radio. Basically, it’s whatever the #%!@ you want to call it.
The audience chuckles.
Pace: Hmm, and now for the midseason shows. During the midseason, when these shows finish their first seasons…hopefully, the network will be showing a currently untitled Laser Tag Show, Happy Hands School, Be My Friend, and My Big Fat Greek Life for half-hour sitcoms, followed by a mystery/noir drama, Agatha, at 10 PM. Thank you guys very much, and enjoy your evening.
Pace walks off the stage as a group of dancers walk on. Spencer introduces the performers for the evening.
Spencer: Ladies and germs, I’m proud to announce the first performance of the night from the incredibly talented dance crew, The Jabbawockeez. Let’s give it up!
The Jabbawockeez Performance
Spencer: Well, wasn’t that great, folks? Now, before we get to our Tuesday lineup, we have a couple more performers for you. Next up is none other than the very famous country western band, Rascal Flatts, with one of their newest hits, “Banjo.” Let’s give them a huge round of applause!
Rascal Flatts “Banjo”
Spencer: Now, taking us into break is the wonderful comedic styling of Mr. Josh Blue. Put those hands together!
Josh Blue Stand-Up
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Spencer: And we’re back. I just wanted to let you guys know that I used to be indecisive, but now I’m just not sure.
The audience laughs.
Spencer: Anyway, before we get to our next upfront presentations, we have some more performances for you. Up next, put your hands together for that crazy little Hawaiian, Jack Johnson, performing his classic hit, “Banana Pancakes.” Take it away, Jack!
Jack Johnson “Banana Pancakes”
Spencer: Wow, that was fantastic. Now, put your hands together for the amazing Muppets with their new rendition of their classic piece, “The Rainbow Connection!”
The Muppets “The Rainbow Connection”
Spencer: Wow, wow, wow. Now, before I bring out a special guest to introduce Tuesday’s lineup, I have one more act coming out to perform. Please give a warm welcome to Yo Yo Ma!
Yo Yo Ma Performance
Spencer: Isn’t that just lovely? Now, back to what you are all waiting for…Tuesday’s lineup! Here to introduce our lineup and our midseason lineup for Tuesday is none other than funny man Zach Galifianakis!
Galifianakis sneaks onto the stage and just stares at the audience. They laugh uproariously.
Galifianakis: Now, before we get to these here presentations of tv shows or whatever they are called, I am going to do a little stand up routine for you: His Routine
Galifianakis: Okay, okay. Now it’s time for the real stuff! The Tuesday lineup. Tuesday nights will consist of light reading, ice cream, and maybe some play late at night.
The audience laughs.
Galifianakis: Oh, you mean the tv shows? Eih. Okay. What do we have here? Start off with some comedies, Chalk, Price of Admission, No Parking Please, The Perks of Being a Serial Killer, and an hour long drama, Side Show. Sounds creepy. Anyway, sounds like it will be a good night, if you know what I mean.
He winks.
Galifianakis: Okay, here we are with the midseason lineup for Tuesdays: Huge, The Playboy Club, and Saw. Yikes! Now, my job is done. You’ve all been great. Thanks so much!
They applaud as Spencer approaches the stage.
Spencer: Before we get to our next lineup, we are going to have a lightning round of performers for you, coming from, in this order: Lin-Manuel Miranda from In the Heights, Katie Thompson, Butterscotch, Tapes ‘n’ Tapes, the Cast of The Book of Mormon, Larry the Cable Guy, Philip Glass, Flight of the Conchords, The Silhouettes, The Fiddleheads, Matthew Morrison, The Spice Girls Tribute Band, a yo-yo artist, and The Kinsey Sicks. Please applaud after each performance. Here we go!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xqFyHgu9U4]Lin-Manuel Miranda Poem
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6u5HI38uxBg]Katie Thompson “I’m Not Pregnant…”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5xmb7Az8nM]Butterscotch Beatbox
www.youtube.com/watch?v=oW4TJhmubQ4]Tapes ‘n’ Tapes Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tooa7eBhY58]The Book of Mormon “Hello”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXkSEcCwU8A]Larry the Cable Guy “Christmas Songs”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1C3FtvOZ4g]Philip Glass Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGOohBytKTU]Flight of the Conchords “Business Time”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1rx0eN29gs]The Silhouettes Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1T5Ehm8FZ8]The Fiddleheads Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jn4jeeQzZh8]Matthew Morrison “Summer Rain”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVq-vXZYpgs]The Spice Girls Tribute Band Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyCf4b5cXLc]Cool Yo-Yo Artist
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XB5QRYgjIAU]The Kinsey Sicks Performance
Spencer walks back onto the stage.
Spencer: Yahoo! Yowza! Weren’t they all incredible?
The audience hoots, hollers, and applauds boisterously.
Spencer: Okay, okay. Now, here to present the Wednesday lineup and midseason and to introduce our musical guest before the break, it’s Justin Timberlake!
Justin Timberlake walks onto the stage and smiles.
Timberlake: So, I wonder why they didn’t ask me to be a musical guest on tonight’s performance? I guess my career has gone…bye bye bye.
The audience laughs as he does the old dance.
Timberlake: No, but seriously, folks, I’m honored just to be here to present the Wednesday night lineup, one of my favorite lineups if I do say so myself. I can’t wait for these shows. We have American Dreamz, Bandstand, and Wonderfalls with the midseason shows being Hellcats, Backdraft, and Soaring Dreams. THIS WILL BE AWESOME. And now, here to take us into the break is…THE BLUE MAN GROUP! Give it up, folks!
Timberlake exits and The Blue Man Group enters.
Blue Man Group Performance
COMMERICAL BREAK
Spencer: Alright, ladies and gentlemen. We’re back. And boy, do I have some news for you. Here it is: If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
The audience laughs outrageously as Spencer continues the speech.
Spencer: We’ve all had a great night so far, I think, and we have a lot of great talent left, but we only have four nights left, so without further ado, let’s bring out our next round of lightning acts, in this order: Kermit & Bret McKenzie of Flight of the Conchords, Stomp (Brooms), She & Him, the Cast from Once, Cas Haley, Narcissister, Idina Menzel, Bo Burnham, The Living Cartoon, Glee Live, Summerwind Skippers, Melissa Villasenor, India.Arie, and Jason Robert Brown & Anika Noni Rose. Put your hands together, ladies and gents!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDnTo2S2BrA]Kermit & Bret McKenzie Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZ7aYQtIldg]Stomp -- Brooms
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU781p5FPEg]She & Him “Sweet Darlin’”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ehVXwFMQqs]Once “Gold”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcmPgmRArTs]Cas Haley Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSfFCNEteyk]Narcissister Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MslDnwerQRA]Idina Menzel “Defying Gravity”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=unAjsH49I5g]Bo Burnham “I’m Bo Yo”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB5Yx0mfH4g]The Living Cartoon Quick Change Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bn8moZ7N-vo]Glee Live “Loser Like Me”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLRoFI7lO-0&feature=fvwrel]Summerwind Skippers Performance
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GffCjjulVk&feature=related]Melissa Villasenor Stand-Up/Impressions Routine
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvUt2fHU8EY]India.Arie “Video”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmXiDO76bAA]Jason Robert Brown & Anika Noni Rose “Brand New You”
Spencer: Wowza! Now, here to present our Thursday lineup and introduce our musical guest before break, it’s Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon.
They walk onto the stage as Spencer exits.
Mariah: Hello, all.
Nick: Yes, hello.
Mariah: Nick, you already host a show. You should be better at this.
Nick: Well, excuse me, but I’m distracted by a lovely young lady.
Mariah: Is Demi Lovato here?
Nick: No.
The audience laughs.
Mariah: Okay, well I’ll present Thursday’s lineup and Nick here will present the midseason lineup and the musical guest. Here we go. Thursdays will include: Onstage, Cyberbullies, and The Vampire Chronicles.
Nick: Beautiful. Midseason will feature: The Sing-Off, Pretty/Handsome, and The Prestige. And taking us into the break is our next musical guest, the internet sensation, ROB PARAVONIAN!
They leave as he enters.
Rob Paravonian “Pachelbal Rant”
COMMERCIAL BREAK
The show returns with Dita Von Teese on stage doing a burlesque performance.
Dita Von Teese Burlesque Routine
She exits the stage as Spencer re-emerges.
Spencer: Well, whew, folks. That was sure one hot performance, wasn’t it? Now, before we get into our Friday and Saturday lineups, we have a few more performances from you, in this order: Up & Over It, Kevin Johnson, Bunraku Bay Puppet Troupe, Bond, and CJ Jones. Enjoy!
Up & Over It Performance
Kevin Johnson Performance
Bunraku Bay Puppet Troupe Performance
Bond “Victory”
CJ Jones Deaf Performance
Spencer: That was great. Now, let me introduce you to the hostess with the mostest, Kristin Chenoweth.
She enters as Spencer exits and is very bubbly.
Chenoweth: Hi, everyone. I’m a GCB, not a pushing daisy. Sorry I’m so popular.
The audience is in stitches.
Chenoweth: Enough of that. So, anyway, I am here to introduce to you the Friday night Uniworks lineup and midseason. WOOHOO! So, Friday nights has Tap Dancer, The Bromance, Bro Code/Man Law, and N’awlins with Midseason replacements as Funniest Mom in America, The Sing-Off Results Show, School House Rock Rocks!, and Tommy Lee Goes to College. Sounds great! And now, taking us into the break is our next guest, the tremendous Jeff Dunham and his good old stand-up comedy. And following that is the Golden Dragon Acrobats!
Jeff Dunham “Blue Prius”
Golden Dragon Acrobats Performance
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Spencer: And we’re back. We have Saturday & Sunday left, and that’s it. We’re rounding the bend, just around the riverbend. Eh? Eh? Okay, bad joke. Anyway, here is one of my favorite comedians and one of my really good friends now, Paul Rudd!
Spencer and Rudd shake hands as Rudd prepares for his comedy routine.
Paul Rudd Routine
Spencer comes back out and shakes Rudd’s hand again. They jokingly hold hands and exit the stage together as the next presenter comes out, NeNe Leakes.
Leakes: Ya’ll shut up.
She refers to the laughter and applause. She’s joking.
Leakes: No, seriously. I’m here to present the upfront for Saturdays, and I got kind of jipped, so I’m going to just talk for as long as like about whatever I like. Haha, no, but seriously, here’s the Saturday lineup: Uniworks’ Movie of the Week at 8 PM followed by Tap Dancer Results, or Funniest Mom in America Results during Midseason, with Cinemaniacs and Indy Mogul at 10:30. It looks like both are 15 minute minute shows that are going to combine to become one show. Welp, now let me introduce the next guest to present the Sunday lineup, Nick Lachey.
She leaves as Lachey enters. The audience is cheering.
Lachey: I’m here to present the Sunday lineup for both the fall and midseason, but before I do that, I need to introduce our next performer. The always astounding, ever-impressive TERRY FATOR.
Terry Fator “At Last”
Lachey: Wasn’t that just great, folks? Now, here’s our Sunday lineup: The Secret Lives of Dogs, Balls to the Wall, The Craigslist Diaries, Cherries in the Snow, and Marquee. And for midseason: Untitled Wallflower Series, Untitled Tattoo Shop Show, The Astounding Spider-Man, The Cape, and Columbine. We’ll be back to recap the shows in a little while, but taking us to the break is Fan Yang of The Gazillion Bubble Show. Take it away, Fan!
Fan Yang Bubble Clip
COMMERICAL BREAK
Spencer: And we’re back. Let’s recap our shows with our midseasons for the 2012-2013 year:
Monday
8:00 Cubicles (Midseason: Untitled Laser Tag Show)
8:30 Bollywood/Hollywood (Midseason: Happy Hands School)
9:00 Spare Me (Midseason: Be My Friend)
9:30 Costumes ‘R Us (Midseason: My Big Fat Greek Life)
10:00 Pirate Radio (Midseason: Agatha)
Tuesday
8:00 Chalk (Midseason: Huge)
8:30 Price of Admission (Midseason: Huge con’t.)
9:00 No Parking, Please (Midseason: The Playboy Club)
9:30 The Perks of Being a Serial Killer (Midseason: The Playboy Club con’t.)
10:00 Side Show (Midseason: Saw)
Wednesday
8:00 American Dreamz (Midseason: Hellcats)
9:00 Bandstand (Midseason: Backdraft)
10:00 Wonderfalls (Midseason: Soaring Dreams)
Thursday
8:00 Onstage (Midseason: The Sing-Off)
9:00 Cyberbullies (Midseason: Pretty/Handsome)
10:00 The Vampire Chronicles (Midseason: The Prestige)
Friday
8:00 Tap Dancer Competition (Midseason: Funniest Mom in America)
9:00 The Bromance (Midseason: The Sing-Off Results)
9:30 Bro Code/Man Law (Midseason: School House Rock Rocks!)
10:00 N’awlins (Midseason: Tommy Lee Goes to College—2 episodes)
Saturday
8:00 Uniworks’ Movie of the Week
10:00 Tap Dancer Results (Midseason: Funniest Mom in America Results)
10:30 Cinemaniacs/Indy Mogul
Sunday
7:00 The Secret Lives of Dogs (Midseason: Untitled Wallflower Adaptation Series)
7:30 Balls to the Wall (Midseason: Untitled Tattoo Shop Show)
8:00 The Craigslist Diaries (Midseason: The Astounding Spider-Man)
9:00 Cherries in the Snow (Midseason: The Cape)
10:00 Marquee (Midseason: Columbine)
Spencer: And now, taking us to the credits is an insane performance from an awesome magic comedy duo, Penn & Teller!
Penn & Teller “Nail Gun” Routine
Spencer: Well, that’s all the time we have for. Thanks to all the performers, presenters, and everyone watching. We couldn’t do it without you!
On tap for the future:
Untitled Penn & Teller Reality Magic Show
Untitled Terry Fator Reality Series
Pushing Daisies
Tommy Lee Goes to College
Eastwick
Greg the Bunny
The Critic
Pan Am
Gravity
Untitled Cake Decorating Reality Competition
Untitled Movie Makeup Competition
Untitled Cryptozoology Reality Series and More
The Derby
Untitled Side Show Musical
Weather Girl
Bollywood Hero: The Series
Contest Searchlight
Untitled Cake Shop Show
Proposed for This Year/Midseason But Switched:
Seurat
The Princess Chronicles
Leisl in the War
CREDITS ROLL.
